Saturday, June 23, 2007
Bend, but Don't Break
One of my fondest memories as a child is going by the river and sitting idly on the bank. There I would enjoy the peace and quiet, watch the water rush downstream, and listen to the chirps of birds and the rustling of leaves in the trees. I would also watch the bamboo trees bend under pressure from the wind and watch them return gracefully to their upright or original position after the wind had died down.
When I think about the bamboo tree's ability to bounce back or return to it's original position, the word resilience comes to mind. When used in reference to a person this word means the ability to readily recover from shock, depression or any other situation that stretches the limits of a person's emotions.
Have you ever felt like you are about to snap? Have you ever felt like you are at your breaking point? Thankfully, you have survived the experience to live to talk about it.
During the experience you probably felt a mix of emotions that threatened your health. You felt emotionally drained, mentally exhausted and you most likely endured unpleasant physical symptoms.
Life is a mixture of good times and bad times, happy moments and unhappy moments. The next time you are experiencing one of those bad times or unhappy moments that take you close to your breaking point, bend but don't break. Try your best not to let the situation get the best of you.
A measure of hope will take you through the unpleasant ordeal. With hope for a better tomorrow or a better situation, things may not be as bad as they seem to be. The unpleasant ordeal may be easier to deal with if the end result is worth having.
If the going gets tough and you are at your breaking point, show resilience. Like the bamboo tree, bend, but don't break!
When I think about the bamboo tree's ability to bounce back or return to it's original position, the word resilience comes to mind. When used in reference to a person this word means the ability to readily recover from shock, depression or any other situation that stretches the limits of a person's emotions.
Have you ever felt like you are about to snap? Have you ever felt like you are at your breaking point? Thankfully, you have survived the experience to live to talk about it.
During the experience you probably felt a mix of emotions that threatened your health. You felt emotionally drained, mentally exhausted and you most likely endured unpleasant physical symptoms.
Life is a mixture of good times and bad times, happy moments and unhappy moments. The next time you are experiencing one of those bad times or unhappy moments that take you close to your breaking point, bend but don't break. Try your best not to let the situation get the best of you.
A measure of hope will take you through the unpleasant ordeal. With hope for a better tomorrow or a better situation, things may not be as bad as they seem to be. The unpleasant ordeal may be easier to deal with if the end result is worth having.
If the going gets tough and you are at your breaking point, show resilience. Like the bamboo tree, bend, but don't break!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Elliott Yamin-Wait For You
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I’m missing you and
I’m wishing you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know,
So now I’m all alone
Girl you could have stayed but you wouldn’t give me a chance
With you not around it’s a little bit more than I can stand
And all my tears they keep runnin’ down my face
Why did you turn away?
So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you
Been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You gotta be feeling crazy
How can you walk away
Everything stays the same
I just can’t do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is and it just ain’t like that
Why can’t you look at me?
You’re still in love with me
Don’t leave me crying
Baby why can’t we just start all over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But you’re telling me it won’t be enough
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you
So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you’re keeping inside
That is not how you want it to be
Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it’s the last thing I do
Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you
I’ll be waiting …
Goo Goo Dolls - Stay With You
These streets
Turn me inside out
Everything shines
But leaves me empty still
And I'll, I'll burn this lonely house down
If you run with me
If you run with me
I'll stay with you
The walls will fall before we do
Take my hand now
We'll run forever
I can feel the storm inside you
I'll stay with you
Fooled by my own desires
I twist my fate
Just to feel you
But you, turn me toward the light
And you're one with me
Will you run with me?
I'll stay with you
The walls will fall before we do
Take my hand now
We'll run forever
I can feel the storm inside you
I'll stay with you
Now come in from this storm
I taste you sweet and warm
Take what you need
Take what you need
From me
Wake up this world
Wake up tonight
And run with me
Run to me now
I'll stay with you
The walls will fall before we do
Take my hand now
We'll run forever
I can feel the storm inside you
I'll stay with you
Monday, January 29, 2007
Closing the Cycle by Paulo Coelho
I got this from a friend. I hope you like it as much as I did....
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing the cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?
You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it is may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you have suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the ideal moment. Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person, nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cylces. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing the cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?
You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot forever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.
Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (however painful it is may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you have suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the ideal moment. Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person, nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Closing cylces. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
Monday, October 30, 2006
More thoughts...
In truth, many of us have the freedom to choose how we wish to live - only we don't realize it. We think we are imprisoned by our lifestyle and circumstances. It is important to acknowledge that in the free society of today's modern living condition, bondage is a mental thing. So, intead of grumbling and feeling disenchanted with life, take a giant step today. Flap your wings and fly.
Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get get what you want. But most times, what you want and what you get are two different things. Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul. Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole. Sometimes, God sends us pain so we can be stronger. Although we can't have everything we want, we can want everything we have.
The greatness comes not when things go always good for you. But it comes when you are really tested, when you take some knocks, some dissapointments, when sadness comes. Because only if you have been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.
There are things we regret - words we wish had gone unsaid. Starts that had bitter endings. Chances we threw away. Roads we should have never taken. Signs we did not see. Hearts we hurt needlessly, and wounds we wish we could mend. But life gets that much harder, the past can't be rewritten but it can make you stronger. Be thankful for every change life has thrown you. For every break in your heart, for every scar. Some pages were turned, some bridges were burned, but you had lessons learned.
I asked God, "How do I get the best out of life?" God answered, "Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear." Then He added, "Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and never doubt your beliefs. Life is wonderful if you know how to live."
Somehow along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize there should never be regrets, just appreciation of the choices you've made.
Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.
From dark clouds we get refreshing showers, from dark mines are found bright jewels and so from our worst trouble come our best blessings.
Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get get what you want. But most times, what you want and what you get are two different things. Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul. Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole. Sometimes, God sends us pain so we can be stronger. Although we can't have everything we want, we can want everything we have.
The greatness comes not when things go always good for you. But it comes when you are really tested, when you take some knocks, some dissapointments, when sadness comes. Because only if you have been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.
There are things we regret - words we wish had gone unsaid. Starts that had bitter endings. Chances we threw away. Roads we should have never taken. Signs we did not see. Hearts we hurt needlessly, and wounds we wish we could mend. But life gets that much harder, the past can't be rewritten but it can make you stronger. Be thankful for every change life has thrown you. For every break in your heart, for every scar. Some pages were turned, some bridges were burned, but you had lessons learned.
I asked God, "How do I get the best out of life?" God answered, "Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear." Then He added, "Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and never doubt your beliefs. Life is wonderful if you know how to live."
Somehow along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize there should never be regrets, just appreciation of the choices you've made.
Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.
From dark clouds we get refreshing showers, from dark mines are found bright jewels and so from our worst trouble come our best blessings.
Thoughts to ponder...
Never pray for an easier life but pray to be a stronger person. Never pray for tasks equal to your power but for power equal to conquer your tasks.
Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections of life and live by faith one day at a time.
Always remember that God only makes happy endings. If it is not happy then it is not yet the end. Live by love and hope... There is always something to look forward to.
In life, God doesn't give us people we want instead he gives us the people we need - to teach us, to hurt us, to love and to make us the way He wants us to be.
The point of prayer is not to get answers from God, but to have perfect and complete oneness with Him.
Don't waste energy trying to cover up failures. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. Its okay to fail. If you're not failing, you are not growing.
A good person is never alone. One who sows thoughtfulness reaps friendship. One who plants kindness reaps love. Enjoy the fruits you've sown so well.
Every trial is a call to prayer. Every burden is a bridge to the Lord. Every difficulty is an invitation to bend our knees. These makes us better persons.
Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is there adequate perception of the world.
Sweet words are easy to say, sweet things are easy to buy, but sweet people are difficult to find. Life ends when you stop believing. Love ends when you stop crying. Friendship ends when you stop sharing. To love without condition... To talk without intention... To give without reason... To care without expectation.
The important thing is not to be bitter over life's difficulties. Learn to let go of the past and recognize that everyday won't be sunny, and when you find yourself lost in darkness and despair, remember -- It's only in the black of night that you can see the stars, and those stars will lead you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble, to fall... Because most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing things that scare you the most.
At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy. So you can waste your time drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. If you're willing to take the chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.
When challenges are so big that we feel our strength is not enough to carry them, keep on going... the extra mile is where the grace of God begins.
Life leaps like a geyser for those willing to drill through the rock of inertia. Remember, pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you.
All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely play it. If your part is given in a script, tear that script. If your character is boring, impovise. If life's a stage, it's your stage. Act as yourself and shine above the rest. Never cultivate your life by what people say, be as free as you can be.
Never regret the choices you made. Just believe in yourself and have faith. life isn't perfect, it is a blend of joy and sorrow but whatever life leads you... It is because of God's purpose.
Heaven is not for people who are better than the rest... but for people who sincerely try to become better than they are.
The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is just the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything.
Never underestimate your potential and never be ashamed of what you are. Do your best especially when people expect less of you because the greatest pleasure in life is what people say you can't do.
A true friend stabs you in the front. - Oscar Wilde
Be thankful that you don't have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful for the difficult times, it is during those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations because they give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for your mistakes, they will teach you valuable lessons. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.
Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections of life and live by faith one day at a time.
Always remember that God only makes happy endings. If it is not happy then it is not yet the end. Live by love and hope... There is always something to look forward to.
In life, God doesn't give us people we want instead he gives us the people we need - to teach us, to hurt us, to love and to make us the way He wants us to be.
The point of prayer is not to get answers from God, but to have perfect and complete oneness with Him.
Don't waste energy trying to cover up failures. Learn from your failures and go on to the next challenge. Its okay to fail. If you're not failing, you are not growing.
A good person is never alone. One who sows thoughtfulness reaps friendship. One who plants kindness reaps love. Enjoy the fruits you've sown so well.
Every trial is a call to prayer. Every burden is a bridge to the Lord. Every difficulty is an invitation to bend our knees. These makes us better persons.
Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is there adequate perception of the world.
Sweet words are easy to say, sweet things are easy to buy, but sweet people are difficult to find. Life ends when you stop believing. Love ends when you stop crying. Friendship ends when you stop sharing. To love without condition... To talk without intention... To give without reason... To care without expectation.
The important thing is not to be bitter over life's difficulties. Learn to let go of the past and recognize that everyday won't be sunny, and when you find yourself lost in darkness and despair, remember -- It's only in the black of night that you can see the stars, and those stars will lead you back home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble, to fall... Because most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing things that scare you the most.
At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy. So you can waste your time drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. If you're willing to take the chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.
When challenges are so big that we feel our strength is not enough to carry them, keep on going... the extra mile is where the grace of God begins.
Life leaps like a geyser for those willing to drill through the rock of inertia. Remember, pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you.
All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely play it. If your part is given in a script, tear that script. If your character is boring, impovise. If life's a stage, it's your stage. Act as yourself and shine above the rest. Never cultivate your life by what people say, be as free as you can be.
Never regret the choices you made. Just believe in yourself and have faith. life isn't perfect, it is a blend of joy and sorrow but whatever life leads you... It is because of God's purpose.
Heaven is not for people who are better than the rest... but for people who sincerely try to become better than they are.
The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is just the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything.
Never underestimate your potential and never be ashamed of what you are. Do your best especially when people expect less of you because the greatest pleasure in life is what people say you can't do.
A true friend stabs you in the front. - Oscar Wilde
Be thankful that you don't have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful for the difficult times, it is during those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations because they give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for your mistakes, they will teach you valuable lessons. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
I got this from a friend...
Reasons Behind Feelings
(written by: Blessie Duque)
Why can't we let go of that somebody and of the feelings that we have for that person? When we already know that it's time to move on and set ourselves free What's holding us back from continuing our journey? There are other roads to take and other doors to open.
But why do we keep ourselves contained in the same situation? When we already know that the same situation just keeps spinning in circles. When it seems like there is no end to all the things that we go thru, and yet we hang on until our patience run out, until we have shed the last tear drop, until every fiber of our being can no longer sustain all emotions.
Why can't we let go?
Good memorable moments for us are worth keeping.
That is why we obsess over the thought or the situation, making it very difficult for us to move on. So we stay attached, mentally and emotionally, sometimes even sexually. We think that if we hold on to that special someone (who we think is special at that moment), that there would be a chance for things to change.
And of course we always think that things would change for the better. For that matter, we give that "somebody" so many chances, we give ourselves reasons or should I say "excuses" not to end the so called "relationship". In the end, we find ourselves hurting and crying. .
We find out that we are just fooling ourselves, that no matter how long we stay in that relationship or situation and how much we give, NOTHING will change for the better.
Rather, things change for the worse.
So why stay? Why can't we let go?
Some people stay in relationships feeling obligated to be a good boyfriend or girlfriend
They get scared of breaking up because they think that no one else will love them and accept them for who they are. Or maybe they think that they would not find anybody better than
their bf or gf, This is even after they realize that the feelings that they have had already faded away. Some would feel like they "owe" that other person so much because of the good intentions that that individual showed to them. And because of this train of thought, those people feel compelled to be in a situation that they don't want to be in. So they get stuck and would later on
complain that they want out but they don't have the guts to break lose.
This is not the feeling of love or being in love, it's the feeling of
being secure with the other person. Because being secure means no more pretenses, no need for facades, no need for mind games, just acceptance of all that's good and bad about someone.
It is true though... why would you let go of somebody who loves you very much and who accepts you for who you are?
It's hard isn't it?
But the real question is... "Are you happy?" and "do you still love this person?" If the answer is yes... then there should be no doubt in your mind that this person is the one for you. That thru thick and thin, you will be willing to go thru hell and back with him or her. But if there is
doubt..... be fair, to yourself and to that individual.
You are the only person who knows what is right... you know how you really feel. On some occasions, people are drawn together because of physical attraction and sex. These are the people who get together NOT because they trust, love and understanding each other but they bond together because they act upon their needs and desires.
Some of us might ask: "Does it ever go beyond the physical or sexual phase?" Whether we dare to admit it or not, if two people spend enough time together, often times feelings get developed. It may not be as strong as falling in love but the attachment and passion is still there. When feelings grow, there may be times where one feels more than the other, that person might get emotionally attached without wanting those feelings in purpose. And in order for things not to get spoiled, that person would usually try to control how he/she feels especially if he/she does not have a clear understanding of where he/she stands in the other person's life.
People who are in this kind of predicament typically put their guard up in fear of rejection; in fear that the other person would not feel the way they do; or in fear that if they reveal their real intentions and feelings, the other person might lose interest. . So they get content just staying in that situation without having any emotional involvement, with no strings attached and no obligations.
But deep inside they hurt, they cry, they wonder. On the other hand, they remain involved maybe because they hope that they would end up having an intimate and meaningful relationship with their partner (dream on!)
Some may be so infatuated with the other person that they would mistakenly consider how they feel as being "in love". They get so blinded by each moment they spend time with that someone because it makes them feel good and wanted even for just that instant. In the bottom of their hearts, they long for that person to care for them the way they do.
The truth is ... nothing will change the way that other person feels for them. It will be no more than just a physical attraction, an enjoy-for-the-moment kind of situation.
It sucks doesn't it? But that is reality.
You could never make someone like you, care for you or love you. You could only give so much but in the end if that other person still doesn't see you as someone they could spend real time with, you have to learn how to cut him/her lose because you will end up just playing the role of a "meantime" boyfriend or girlfriend, no more no less.
In every relationship, once it ends, it always leaves someone feel a sense of longing and emptiness. It is worst when things are left unsaid and unfinished So people tend to hang on to the good memories they had with the other person And they end up wondering and questioning themselves of what they have done wrong or "why this, why that", "what if...", or "how if".
Typical for a broken-hearted individual but how could he or she help it? It's like having someone read you a story without telling you the ending of it.
Would you not wonder about what have had happened or how it ended? It's the same thing when someone leaves you for no reason. You tend to "think too much"; you try to look for justification for that person's actions, It's mind-boggling when all these questions are running in your head and all you have for answers are merely speculations. You keep hoping that if only you could talk to that person one more time, you might be able to get some answers and have a peace of mind once and for all (but once you do get the answer, most of the time it's not
something you would want to hear)
So the more you think, the harder it gets to make a new start for yourself; the harder it is to accept the fact that what you have with that someone is over; therefore, you tend to hold on to your misery longer than you ought to.
So what is there to do? All advises from family and friends could be helpful in times of
heartache. It doesn't cure the hurt and pain but at least it eases it a little Along the way, you will find yourself having more strength to go thru the day For a lot of people, the company of friends or even just acquaintances is the best way to keep their sanity in tact.
Whichever manner you try in order for you to get by is all up to you because despite all the advises everyone tells you, "Heartbreaks will last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go.." (this is a quote I read somewhere)
Reasons of the heart sometimes can never be explained. We do what we feel because we know what makes us happy. Even if it means taking the chance of getting hurt over and over. We
tolerate pain, we endure heartbreaks, we hold on to instances that need letting go, we sacrifice, and we take risks notwithstanding the consequences of our actions. As we all know, life is full of
uncertainties. And we, as human beings are always scared of the unknown. So we hold back from doing what we think is right because it means that we have to get out of our comfort zone. It puts the fear inside us because we are dependent on the feelings we have for that someone.
We forget how it is to live without them because we are so used to them being around us. We become inconsiderate of our own feelings that we sometimes fail to remember that things just don't work out the way we want them to...no matter how hard we try.
We should know by now that patience has its limits and love also dies, and sometimes the only thing that's left is learning how to let go! Letting go is not the end of everything, some say it is the beginning of a new journey. For me, it just means that we have the will and power to pick up the pieces and the courage to say goodbye.
(written by: Blessie Duque)
Why can't we let go of that somebody and of the feelings that we have for that person? When we already know that it's time to move on and set ourselves free What's holding us back from continuing our journey? There are other roads to take and other doors to open.
But why do we keep ourselves contained in the same situation? When we already know that the same situation just keeps spinning in circles. When it seems like there is no end to all the things that we go thru, and yet we hang on until our patience run out, until we have shed the last tear drop, until every fiber of our being can no longer sustain all emotions.
Why can't we let go?
Good memorable moments for us are worth keeping.
That is why we obsess over the thought or the situation, making it very difficult for us to move on. So we stay attached, mentally and emotionally, sometimes even sexually. We think that if we hold on to that special someone (who we think is special at that moment), that there would be a chance for things to change.
And of course we always think that things would change for the better. For that matter, we give that "somebody" so many chances, we give ourselves reasons or should I say "excuses" not to end the so called "relationship". In the end, we find ourselves hurting and crying. .
We find out that we are just fooling ourselves, that no matter how long we stay in that relationship or situation and how much we give, NOTHING will change for the better.
Rather, things change for the worse.
So why stay? Why can't we let go?
Some people stay in relationships feeling obligated to be a good boyfriend or girlfriend
They get scared of breaking up because they think that no one else will love them and accept them for who they are. Or maybe they think that they would not find anybody better than
their bf or gf, This is even after they realize that the feelings that they have had already faded away. Some would feel like they "owe" that other person so much because of the good intentions that that individual showed to them. And because of this train of thought, those people feel compelled to be in a situation that they don't want to be in. So they get stuck and would later on
complain that they want out but they don't have the guts to break lose.
This is not the feeling of love or being in love, it's the feeling of
being secure with the other person. Because being secure means no more pretenses, no need for facades, no need for mind games, just acceptance of all that's good and bad about someone.
It is true though... why would you let go of somebody who loves you very much and who accepts you for who you are?
It's hard isn't it?
But the real question is... "Are you happy?" and "do you still love this person?" If the answer is yes... then there should be no doubt in your mind that this person is the one for you. That thru thick and thin, you will be willing to go thru hell and back with him or her. But if there is
doubt..... be fair, to yourself and to that individual.
You are the only person who knows what is right... you know how you really feel. On some occasions, people are drawn together because of physical attraction and sex. These are the people who get together NOT because they trust, love and understanding each other but they bond together because they act upon their needs and desires.
Some of us might ask: "Does it ever go beyond the physical or sexual phase?" Whether we dare to admit it or not, if two people spend enough time together, often times feelings get developed. It may not be as strong as falling in love but the attachment and passion is still there. When feelings grow, there may be times where one feels more than the other, that person might get emotionally attached without wanting those feelings in purpose. And in order for things not to get spoiled, that person would usually try to control how he/she feels especially if he/she does not have a clear understanding of where he/she stands in the other person's life.
People who are in this kind of predicament typically put their guard up in fear of rejection; in fear that the other person would not feel the way they do; or in fear that if they reveal their real intentions and feelings, the other person might lose interest. . So they get content just staying in that situation without having any emotional involvement, with no strings attached and no obligations.
But deep inside they hurt, they cry, they wonder. On the other hand, they remain involved maybe because they hope that they would end up having an intimate and meaningful relationship with their partner (dream on!)
Some may be so infatuated with the other person that they would mistakenly consider how they feel as being "in love". They get so blinded by each moment they spend time with that someone because it makes them feel good and wanted even for just that instant. In the bottom of their hearts, they long for that person to care for them the way they do.
The truth is ... nothing will change the way that other person feels for them. It will be no more than just a physical attraction, an enjoy-for-the-moment kind of situation.
It sucks doesn't it? But that is reality.
You could never make someone like you, care for you or love you. You could only give so much but in the end if that other person still doesn't see you as someone they could spend real time with, you have to learn how to cut him/her lose because you will end up just playing the role of a "meantime" boyfriend or girlfriend, no more no less.
In every relationship, once it ends, it always leaves someone feel a sense of longing and emptiness. It is worst when things are left unsaid and unfinished So people tend to hang on to the good memories they had with the other person And they end up wondering and questioning themselves of what they have done wrong or "why this, why that", "what if...", or "how if".
Typical for a broken-hearted individual but how could he or she help it? It's like having someone read you a story without telling you the ending of it.
Would you not wonder about what have had happened or how it ended? It's the same thing when someone leaves you for no reason. You tend to "think too much"; you try to look for justification for that person's actions, It's mind-boggling when all these questions are running in your head and all you have for answers are merely speculations. You keep hoping that if only you could talk to that person one more time, you might be able to get some answers and have a peace of mind once and for all (but once you do get the answer, most of the time it's not
something you would want to hear)
So the more you think, the harder it gets to make a new start for yourself; the harder it is to accept the fact that what you have with that someone is over; therefore, you tend to hold on to your misery longer than you ought to.
So what is there to do? All advises from family and friends could be helpful in times of
heartache. It doesn't cure the hurt and pain but at least it eases it a little Along the way, you will find yourself having more strength to go thru the day For a lot of people, the company of friends or even just acquaintances is the best way to keep their sanity in tact.
Whichever manner you try in order for you to get by is all up to you because despite all the advises everyone tells you, "Heartbreaks will last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go.." (this is a quote I read somewhere)
Reasons of the heart sometimes can never be explained. We do what we feel because we know what makes us happy. Even if it means taking the chance of getting hurt over and over. We
tolerate pain, we endure heartbreaks, we hold on to instances that need letting go, we sacrifice, and we take risks notwithstanding the consequences of our actions. As we all know, life is full of
uncertainties. And we, as human beings are always scared of the unknown. So we hold back from doing what we think is right because it means that we have to get out of our comfort zone. It puts the fear inside us because we are dependent on the feelings we have for that someone.
We forget how it is to live without them because we are so used to them being around us. We become inconsiderate of our own feelings that we sometimes fail to remember that things just don't work out the way we want them to...no matter how hard we try.
We should know by now that patience has its limits and love also dies, and sometimes the only thing that's left is learning how to let go! Letting go is not the end of everything, some say it is the beginning of a new journey. For me, it just means that we have the will and power to pick up the pieces and the courage to say goodbye.
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